5. How the physical Transformation works

Someone asked me to speak openly about this side of the way. On the old website everything would have sounded too positive and harmless and the hardness of this transformation would not have been shown. Even Mother mentioned in one of the challenging stages that she did not want to speak of transformation, so terrible was her way at that moment.

One wants to avoid discouraging people. 

But the truth is simply the truth. It rarely corresponds to our wish. And the longer you have progressed on this path, the more you accept it. Then you regard the challenging phases as birth pain, whatever will come. Therefore I will integrate it into the new version of this website.

Every person has to expect his individual path through this transformation. Nevertheless, there are stages whose symptoms are basically the same. Here, only the last and most challenging phase is described, since times of purification are similar at the beginning of all sincere spiritual paths. They are not obviously identified from the outset as those of physical transformation.

In integral yoga there is no separation in spiritual and everyday life. "All life is yoga," said Sri Aurobindo. Where should everyday life end and spirituality begin? Retreat is only necessary in the very last phase, because the body becomes too much stressed and unstable in time. In my case, the massive entry into this phase brought increased psychological and physical burglaries, because the additional requirements of my profession meant a complete overload. Since my retreat, the physical transformation has accelerated massively. Sometimes it isn't possible to leave the apartment until adaption has happened.

 

The process of this comprehensive transformation is lengthy since our body is  rigid and not very elastic by the laws of earthly nature whom he had to obey over millions of years. To him they have apparently become insuperable. The "reprogramming" has to be carried out gently, since otherwise we would not survive it. I can confirm the power of this new consciousness on the body. It's crushing. According to Sri Aurobindo, it is "more liquid than gas and harder than a diamond."

It cannot be influenced by the mind, since it impacts directly on the body. We have no control over it. For this reason, more and more symptoms occur which can be attributed to the influence of this consciousness.

 

Because of the hypersensitivity that this way entails and on which we have no influence, dealing with people becomes quite difficult. Sometimes you have to restrict or (temporarily) abort contacts, what is not always understood. Symptoms in the presence of certain people (also the mental "proximity" over kilometers!) can be e.g. toothache, the mentioned hot-running or nausea. Sometimes we take over "diseases" or mental states of others.

It needs some time until we learn to deal with it and distance ourselves, even if someone feels affronted. He doesn't step in our shoes.

 

 

 

     The process of physical transformation

 

The first experiences are not too stressful. Some are even very nice. However, if one is meant to complete the entire transformation in one incarnation, the "showers" of the Supramental Consciousness become more and more demanding. This should not be concealed here, even if so far only few people are concerned.

If the intensive work in matter begins, either in one of the last stages or in earlier recurring short phases in between, one experiences the movement as descending. It becomes ever darker, duller, more menacing, suffocating, lonely. This must be understood as a phenomenon of consciousness, because nothing changes in the optical exterior view. It is the darkness of matter in its original form, into which one penetrates inwardly.

Down there one is confronted with the subconscious and unconscious, what we all have created and left behind in the course of earthly evolution. Global vibrations are connecting with those of our themes. Each one of us has a specific theme to deal with, which reveals itself after some time, when we take a look back on our biography. In most cases, it is the area that is the most burdening to us and overshadow all areas of life.

Hidden in the depths of Matter this entire underground field is waiting for its redemption, otherwise the psychotherapeutic practices would be empty. From there it constantly feeds all our actions, because we about certain themes are linked to it in one way or another in every incarnation. These themes depend on our earliest childhood, personal strokes of fate or on the developmental line of the ancestors whose genetic legacy we carry in our system.

 

When the Supramental Light begins its work in the body, it directs its ray directly into this mud hole. This is perceived physically as heat that enters the upper side of the head and leaves the body down over the feet like a hot lava wave, in order to touch the areas below. If a blockage is to be eliminated in the matter, it can descend with immense force in a sharp way next to the spine, so that the entire body gets hot like an overloaded relay. Afterwards these body regions are shivering and suffering pain and we perhaps are shaken of an crying-fit. It has a "psychic component" (words are inadequate here) and is reminiscent of the "sword of God," which Jesus Christ already mentioned. It actually feels as if something was burnt out with unimaginable power from the depths of the body cells, that the poor fellow is shivering with fear.

Already several thousands years ago the ancient Vedic seers spoke of the so-called Agni in the Matter and his solar power in the cells of the body: "He has split the darkness far apart as one divides an animal skin, to unfold our earth under His bright sun ." (V.85.1;  In the Vedas earth is also a symbol for one's own flesh.)

Like scared-up rats all the subconscious morass with which we are connected then swells upwards and enters our day-consciousness. This is the most difficult part of these phases, because then the whole disgrace becomes mine for a limited time, although that is not true. Physically one is confronted with the immobility, the unwillingness and resistance, the rigidity and inelasticity of the cell consciousness, which only hesitant and after several work cycles is willing to give in and learn to accept the new consciousness. Depending on severity the corresponding body regions are cramped for hours, sometimes days.

Problem areas coming up in our daily consciousness can be (self-) hatred, misuse, fear of commitment, feelings of guilt, etc., reinforced by a bundle of global vibrations which have been touched in the global Matter. This is anything but blissful and from the reasons listed above this yoga cannot be done for ourselves alone. One has to bear a part of this global pot: "Every individual is an instrument for mastering a certain accumulation of vibrations, which is his very own working field." (Mother)

Once the consciousness of the cells has learned they let go of these stored contents and accept the new consciousness forever. Accordingly the intensity of these phases decreases and one experiences short uplifting states.

 

 

     It is exhausting

 

Even if each of us has the corresponding strength to cope with his special theme such a period is sufficient to make an ordinary functioning in this world impossible for days.

After that the body is very exhausted and sometimes feels like a "mining". A disturbance of the balance appears as "disease symptoms" which are directly related to our subject and very familiar. We usually call them chronic complaints. The body needs retreat for adjustment and regeneration, then they disappear quickly. The more or less painful parts of the body show us in which areas the light has worked. With every new challenge we become stronger and recognize a permanent support in the background. 

These phases are usually limited, otherwise it would be unbearable for a person: We would either go crazy or voluntarily disembody our body. Therefore it is always pointed out to connect again to the Divine Consciousness as soon as possible and to ask for help. Down there this connection can temporarily get lost if self-hatred, rage, despair or the feeling of hopelessness at a global level begin to overwhelm you. 

 

If we pop up again, if one wants to call it so, we can quickly open again and we wonder what has just happened, because it disappeared like a temporary illusion. One can see that it was something unreal, a distortion in consciousness that is now being corrected globally. Sri Aurobindo once described it as a "spell," which lays on our body cells. In those phases it is revealed clearly that it are Sri Aurobindo and Mother who care for us - if we allow their help. For on the other hand it is possible that we in these periods throw our whole hatred on them. Sri Aurobindo once noted this towards his devotees.

I experienced it too.  

 

 

     What does this intensity have to do with our entire evolution?

 

As a little point of consciousness as also in plant kingdom and even in the beginnings of animal life we still had a certain unconsciousness. Dr. Reiter described this in hypnosis very plastically. We didn't feel dramas about life. In the course of the incarnations, the drama has been brought into play by the intellect. Our Mental now works perfectly together with our Vital to squeeze out the juice of the satisfaction in playing victims and perpetrators with all its indignations, insults, regrets and blame games. Our ego loves dramas about everything. Unfortunately perpetrators and victims is socially recognized.

If one, as a person refined in all senses, is in touch with the evolutionary unconscious and subconscious, it is just terrible for a while, it cannot be said otherwise. We are seized by pain, suffering, agony, etc., which feel like an infinity. In this unconscious there was no perception of time, and this gives us the impression of being held down there forever. We actually lose our sense of time and hours can pass like minutes and vice versa. We can only endure until the light has done its transformative work in us and the "clouds" disappear again.

Sri Aurobindo knew about the hardness of the way. His enthusiasm also vanished after a certain time, as he once admitted. Perhaps the following ironically meant aphorism arose in these periods? 

"I believe like you, my friends, that God, if He exists, is a villain and a monster. But what will you finally do against it?"

If one is in the third phase of transformation, one understands it very well.

 

It is worthwhile to meditate about two more aphorisms in which Sri Aurobindo tried to bring to the intellect the absurdity of a separation into good and evil and thus in perpetrators and victims: 

220 – “Men talk of enemies, but where are they? I only see wrestlers of one party or the other in the great arena of the universe.”

223 – “If I cannot be Rama, then I would be Ravana; for he is the dark side of Vishnu.” (Rama is a divine incarnation, whereas Ravana is the incarnation of a demon.)

Mother gave this comment on the last of these Aphorisms: “It means that gentleness without strength and goodness without power are incomplete and cannot entirely express the Divine. I might say that the charity and generosity of a converted Asura are infinitely more effective than those of an innocent angel.”

In 1970, she again came back to the importance of these aphorisms:

"What should be said is that in this Consciousness where the two contraries, the two opposites are united, the nature of both changes. They don't remain as they are. It's not that they unite and remain the same: the nature of both changes. And that's quite important. Their nature, their action, their vibration are completely different the minute they unite. It's separation that made them what they are.

Separation must be done away with, then their very nature changes: it's no longer “good” and “evil” but something else, which is complete. It's complete." (Mother's Agenda, January 21, 1970)

 

  

Are there any "beautiful" phases at all?

 

After a period in which blockages have been intensively removed a cool flowing often occurs in the body. Mother mentioned that it is a different kind of Divine Light which brings peace into the body. It feels pleasantly tingling and can swell up to a chill. Nevertheless, it is felt as comfortable compared to the other phases.

This changing rhythm is determined by the Divine Guidance, we have no influence on it. It is quite possible that it varies from one person to another, which is why both Sri Aurobindo and Mother did not want to provide detailed information about the progress.

Now and then nice nightly visions are given to us. In general this resting phase is intensively used, as in these times our mind is mostly silent and doesn't disturb the process. This is why in periods between waking and sleeping we for a brief moment can experience exhilarating states of being, before the returning Mental interrupts it. In my case the most enjoyable experience was as if the body was floating freely in a sea of light without losing itself in it. It was the bliss of the body, a wonderful view of our next state of being.

What does this intensity have to do with our entire evolution?

 

As a little point of consciousness as also in plant kingdom and even in the beginnings of animal life we still were mostly unconscious. Dr. Reiter described it in hypnosis very plastically. We didn't feel dramas about life. In the course of the incarnations the drama has been brought into play by the intellect. Our Mental now works perfectly together with our Vital to squeeze out the juice of the satisfaction in playing victims and perpetrators with all its indignations, insults, regrets and blame games. Our ego loves dramas about everything. Unfortunately perpetrators and victims are socially recognized.

If one, as a person refined in all senses, is in touch with the evolutionary unconscious and subconscious, it is just terrible for a while, it cannot be said otherwise. We are seized by pain, suffering, agony, etc., which feel like an infinity. In this unconscious there was no perception of time, and this gives us the impression of being held down there forever. We actually lose our sense of time and hours can pass like minutes and vice versa. We can only endure until the light has done its transformative work in us and the "clouds" disappear again.

Sri Aurobindo knew about the hardness of the way. His enthusiasm also vanished after a certain time, as he once admitted. Perhaps the following ironically meant aphorism arose in these periods? 

 

 

I believe like you, my friends, that God, if He exists, is a villain and a monster. But what will you finally do against it?

 

 

I understand very well that it is a hard step for some people to give up the traditional path of enlightenment as a "dead end" (unless they really want nothing else). I know that, because I've followed it to the end. Immediately afterwards I was confronted with the revelation that something else was planned with me. I remember well the disappointment, when suddenly I was "capped" from above and that I had a grudge against the Divine for weeks. I felt deceived and had difficulties to accept that I was thrown out of this beautiful state into such a psychological and physical battle, to go hundreds of times through these phases. It is all the more important to me, in retrospect, to speak out clearly what is to come. And that these battles decrease the more we gain strength and self-confidence. We really are able to go through it.  

Meanwhile my body has realized that it is actually "only" a bad spell that is lying on its consciousness. It reminds me of a calf spasm: We know it and know that it passes without or with minor consequences. It, too, seems to emerge from nowhere and is biting painfully into us, and after a short time it disappears again.

This process is similar to the process of transformation. Only in this case the spasm extends for a longer time on the whole body and the psyche, it is a different magnitude. And yet it ends up completely, usually without causing damage if we submit ourselves to Divine Protection.

 

We would be happy to benefit from the bliss most of the mystics have reached. But the path to this goal always led on stony paths through the undergrowth of spiritual purifications. Here it is not just stones but veritable mountains and hell canyons we have to overcome and pass through: The invisible spell which for  millennia is convincing the body consciousness with its nice "You cannot!", "That does not work!", "Look, now you are sick!", "You will die!" or "You'll never get out of there again!", and which thereby ensures that all of this is translated into suffering, pain and death as it has been up to now.

But at some point the new consciousness will have broken this spell. Then our body will no longer be tricked by it. 

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Links und Literatur 

Links and Literature: Please understand that I am listing only German sources. The equivalents, if any exist, are easy to find in the web.  


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 Der Mensch ist ein Übergangswesen. 

 Man is a transitional being. 

 Um den Glauben und alles andere zu erlangen, muss man darauf bestehen, ihn zu bekommen und darf solange nicht erlahmen oder verzweifeln oder aufgeben, bis man ihn besitzt – auf diese Weise wurde alles erlangt, seit diese schwierige Erde von denkenden und sehnsüchtigen Wesen bewohnt wird. Es gilt, sich ständig dem Licht zu öffnen und der Finsternis den Rücken zu kehren. Es gilt, die Stimmen zurückzuweisen, die unermüdlich behaupten: "Du kannst nicht, du darfst nicht, du bist unfähig, du bist eine Marionette eines Traumes." 

In order to gain faith and everything else you have to insist on getting it and must not grow weak, despair or give up until it is possessed - in this way everything has been obtained since this difficult earth is inhabited by thinking and longing beings. It is a matter of constantly opening ourselves to the light and turning your back on the darkness. It is necessary to reject the voices which tirelessly assert: "You cannot, you must not, you are incapable, you are a marionette of a dream."

 Ich glaube, ich kann behaupten, Tag und Nacht, Jahr um Jahr gewissenhafter experimentiert zu haben, als ein Wissenschaftler seine Theorie oder Methode auf der physischen Ebene prüft. 

 

I think I can claim to have experimented day and night, year by year, more conscientiously than a scientist examines his theory or method on the physical plane. 

 Die Manifestation der Liebe des Göttlichen in der Welt war das große Selbstopfer, die höchste Selbsthingabe. Das Vollkommene Bewusstsein willigte darin ein, in die Unbewusstheit der Materie einzutauchen und von ihr aufgesaugt zu werden, auf dass Bewusstheit in den tiefen ihrer Finsternis erweckt werde und nach und nach eine göttliche Macht darin auftauche und die Gesamtheit dieses manifestierten Universums zu einem höchsten Ausdruck des göttlichen Bewusstseins und der göttlichen Liebe mache.

 

The manifestation of the Divine Love in the world was the great self-sacrifice, the highest self-giving. The Perfect Consciousness consented to immerse in the unconsciousness of matter and to be absorbed by it to awaken consciousness in the depths of its darkness and to gradually reveal a Divine power in it and to turn the totality of this manifested universe into a supreme expression of the Divine consciousness and Divine love.

 

Ich kam nach Indien, um Sri Aurobindo zu begegnen. Ich blieb in Indien, um mit Sri Aurobindo zu leben. Als er seinen Körper verließ, fuhr ich fort, hier zu leben, um sein Werk weiterzuführen: d.h. der Wahrheit zu dienen und die Menschheit zu erleuchten, um die Herrschaft der göttlichen Liebe auf der Erde zu beschleunigen. 

 

 I came to India to meet Sri Aurobindo. I remained in India to live with Sri Aurobindo. When he left his body, I continued to live here in order to do his work which is by serving the Truth and enlightening humanity to hasten the rule of the Divine's Love upon earth.

 Gegenwärtig sind wir mitten in der Übergangsperiode, in welcher beide sich ineinander verschränken: Die alte Welt besteht noch in all ihrer Macht, beherrscht das gewöhnliche Bewusstsein, aber die neue schleicht sich ein, so bescheiden und unaufdringlich, dass sie für den Augenblick wenigstens äußerlich nicht sehr viel verändert ... aber sie arbeitet, sie wächst, bis auf den Tag, an dem sie stark genug ist, sich augenfällig zu behaupten. 

 

At the present time we are in the midst of the transitional period in which the two are intertwined: the old world still exists in all its power, dominates the ordinary consciousness, but the new is creeping in so modest and unobtrusive that at least for the moment it does not change much externally ...  but it works, it grows, until the day it is strong enough to assert itself visibly.

 

 Ich sah diese zwei Extreme: den Gipfel des Yogi und den Gipfel, sagen wir, des Elektronikers oder des Intellekts. Und was lag zwischen den beiden? Und wo ist es besser zu entschwinden? – Denn in beiden Fällen schien man zu entschwinden: entweder in leuchtendem Weiß oder in einem ziemlich erstickenden Schwarz. Aber das Leben, das göttliche Leben war das nicht!

 

 I saw these two extremes: the summit of the yogi and the summit, say, the electronics or the intellect. And what was between the two? And where is it better to escape? – For in both cases one seemed to be disappearing: either in bright white or in a rather suffocating black. But it wasn't life, not the Divine Life!

 Oh, wir halten uns alle für weise und wissend, wie schade! Wir schlafen weise und wissenschaftlich und auf einem seltsamen Feuer, das dort glimmert und das demnächst all unsere Weisheiten und Wissenschaften umstürzen wird. Was für Kinder wir doch sind! Dort, im Körper. Dieses Mysterium ...

 

Oh, we all consider ourselves wise and knowing, how pity! We sleep wisely and scientifically and on a strange fire glimmering there which will soon overthrow all our wisdoms and sciences. What children we are! There, in the body. This mystery ...

 

Es ist sehr seltsam: wie zwei Körper ineinander. Der eine weiß unwiderruflich und für immer und allen Widrigkeiten zum Trotz, er kennt das Leben, das er berührt; und der andere, ein wenig darüber und ihn gleichsam verhüllend, ist der alte sterbliche Körper, das Resultat unzähliger Vorahnen, die ihm den Tod und nur den Tod eintrichterten – den Tod bei der geringsten Anzweiflung seines überlieferten alten Rhythmus. Und dieser weiß überhaupt nichts! Er weiß nur um das alte Gesetz.

 

It is very strange: like two bodies in each other. The one knows irrevocably and forever and against all odds, he knows the life he touches; and the other a little above and covering him is the old mortal body, the result of countless ancestors which brought him death and only death  – death at the slightest doubt of his ancient tradition. And he knows nothing at all! He only knows the old law. 


Es ist die Dunkelheit vor der

Morgendämmerung,

just the darkness

before dawn ...